REVIEW: Old Norse For Modern Times (2021)

A book by Ian Stuart Sharpe

Having an interest in all things Viking, and learning Bokmål Norwegian led me to check this out. I currently don’t plan to attempt to learn Old Norse in any way, but I was curious into exactly what this was. From the description, I could tell this was a humor book rather than a learning tool, so I wasn’t disappointed when that’s exactly what it was. I was also drawn to this because I have a book in The Vikingverse line (The Allfather Paradox, I need to review that on here), and had no idea this company was based here in Kansas City, which makes me excited to hopefully meet these dudes at Comicon or something one day.

Never be lost for words again…with this book of lost words. Have you ever wanted to wield the silver tongue of Loki, or to hammer home your point like a Thundergod? Old Norse is the language of legends and the stuff of sagas, the inspiration for Tolkien and Marvel, for award-winning manga and epic videogames. It is the language of cleverly crafted kennings, blood-curdling curses, and pithy retorts to Ragnarök. Old Norse for Modern Times gives you the perfect phrase for every contemporary situation—from memorable movie quotes (“We’re going to need a bigger boat.” Þurfa munu vér skip stærra) to battle-cries to yell on Discord (“Do I look to be in a gaming mood?” Sýnisk þér ek vera í skapi til leika?), from mead hall musings (“This drink, I like it! ANOTHER!” Líkar mér drykkr þessi! ANNAN!) to tried-and-tested pickup lines (“Nice tattoo!” Fagrt er húðflúrið”). With over 500 phrases inside (plus the chance to add your own!) it is the perfect guide for Vikings fans, whether they are re-enactors, role-players, or simply in love with Ragnar.

Old Norse For Modern Times Is almost like a parody of a travel phrase book that somebody might pick up visiting a foreign country. There are phrases of all natures, from social media lingo, to sci-fi references. Is any of it very useful? Probably not. But is it funny? Yes it is! Quite a few of these gave me a good chuckle, like “Beam me up Skadi” or “Where is the Batman!?” However, I honestly think this would work best as an audiobook, and I believe that is available according to the preface in the book. Sadly, I did not have this, so knowing things like correct pronunciations (or as close as we can get today) are lost on a book-only reader.

As a result, I can’t go in with a huge recommendation of getting a print or eBook of this if you plan to actually say these things out loud – go with the audiobook, or a combo of both. As a humor book, this is a fun little diversion for a little while. a quick read that you can have fun with. If you enjoy things like books written in Klingon and the like, definitely check some version of this out.

REVIEW: Heilung: Futha (2019)

Usually, when people discuss ways that they were brought into paganism, one usually hears stories about being wronged by another group or an experience that brought them in line with the old ways – for me, the path was slightly different. Ever since high school, I have been obsessed with medieval style folk music and folk metal – to such a degree that I sometimes feel as if I’m having a church experience at concerts from time to time. You know, that blissful euphoric feeling that usually is seen as “being endowed with the Holy Spirit” when discussing Christianity? That’s me if I hear bagpipes and see some dudes wearing tunics on stage. For somebody raised Catholic, then being vaguely Gnostic for a number of years as a reaction to becoming anti-Catholic, I realized that my soul was being drawn to the ways of my ancestors through music – and thankfully, in 2019 I have never felt so full as this is a banner year for Pagan folk bands!

There is no other musician or groups of musicians in 2019 that have imparted this feeling on me more than an experimental folk project called Heilung or “healing” in German. I once stumbled on a live performance of theirs that took place at a festival called Castlefest in 2017, the concert itself is both a work of art, and a classic performance that ranks, with me personally, as something as profound as Queen at Live Aid. The Live album itself is also very impressive as a result.

It would seem that others agree, as many of their Youtube videos have garnered millions of views, and they have been played on Sirius XM Liquid Metal, a channel that, as the name would imply, plays metal music. While there is some overlap between the listeners, Heilung have absolutely ZERO metal to their sound (minus throat singing perhaps), so it’s a testament to their unique nature that they are jumping into territory most folk bands never tread.

If not familiar with these guys, Heilung is comprised of members from various countries like Denmark, Norway and Germany, and describe their music as “amplified history from early medieval northern Europe”. Their music is based on texts and artifacts of the Iron Age and the early Viking Age specifically. In the broadest sense, their general “gimmick” for lack of a better term, is that they are shamans using their music, and stage show as rituals to give zeal to warriors or channel spirits depending on the song. The band uses animal skin drums, osteomancy (human and animal bones) and various rattles, whistles, and other implements, some antiques themselves. 

“With the epic new album Futha, the enigmatic HEILUNG return with their signature Amplified History. A counterbalance to their rugged debut Ofnir, Futha reveals a more melodic and beautiful side of the mysterious ensemble. Their primeval musique concrete blends ancient Germanic tongues, lush geophonic recordings (crackling fires, breaking ice), and the percussive thunder of archaic weaponry (swords, shields, arrows) into a reverential ceremonial experience. HEILUNG are in a class all their own, and Futha is an entrancing masterstroke of profound worldly music.”

Heilung’s Bandcamp

In 2019, the band has released their second studio album, called Futha  – These are follow-ups to Ofnir (2015) (self-released, reissued 2018 on Season of Mist) and Lifa (2017) (Season of Mist) the previously mentioned livee album. On the meaning of the album title, HEILUNG explains:



“The majority of full rune set inscriptions start with ‘Futha,’ and is known to us as the first four letters in all runic alphabets. It is considered that our forefathers saw magic potential in engraving the full rune line, but there is also great significance in the beginnings. Science has no key for the meaning of only engraving the first couple of letters yet, but there is, of course, a surplus of theories. One of the theories we found inspiration in, is that ‘Futha’ holds the meaning of fertility and female gender. As ‘Ofnir’ focused on war and masculine notions, the great healing power of female wild strength is evoked in Futha. Those who have been present at a birth or have seen lionesses hunting know the spirit, and we welcome and embrace it in the sounds that were born during the creation of ‘Futha.’”

via Overdrive Mag

1. Galgaldr 10:21    

2. Norupo 04:17      

3. Othan 10:18         

4. Traust 09:48        

5. Vapnatak 04:02   

6. Svanrand 03:36  

7. Elivagar 08:44     

8. Elddansurin 08:05          

9. Hamrer Hippyer 14:16

Much like with Ofnir, the music from Futha is still folk music, but is almost in more of a post-industrial, neo-folk style – meaning that there is a lot of use of electronic instruments and synthesizers rather than the myriad of bones and other instruments a large touring band can provide as heard on Lifa. This might be a turn of for some, as I was made well aware that many in my friends circle thought that Lifa was, in fact, their first album and had no idea that the sound on it was slightly different than the studio album. 

Stand-out tracks are Norupo and Traust which are coincidentally the two singles that have been released as of today. I also enjoyed some of the small interludes quite a bit that pepper the release, usually some type of chanting and and growling that could definitely be envisioned to be coming from a seers tent thousands of years ago. These choices are not to say that the rest of the album is bad, perhaps its 100% the opposite. It’s just that this is more of an “album album” better experienced as a whole rather than in chunks. Those two tracks are just the two that can more easily be tossed onto an iPod and called up at will.

I would say that I like Futha Better than Ofnir as a whole, but absolutely cannot wait for a presumptive live album to come from these tracks. They haven’t announced anything, but I hope they repeat the trend from the last cycle. I also hope that their announced US tour comes somewhere near me, as I would absolutely go insane given the chance to see them in person.

In closing, definitely check this album out if you like Heilung, and do yourself a favor and look at their YouTube page for some live renditions of the songs, you will NOT be disappointed.



If you would like a copy of this album for yourself, CLICK HERE

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